troubling...

My heart is troubled.  I have been struggling for about a week now.  It came to a melting point last night and as a result no sleep at all.  I now have to face a ten hour work day and pray it goes well.  How do I truly forgive  and get past the hurt of what has happened?  I cant even put into words what is so troubling now.  It just hurts so much! I am so thankful for our Pastor and his wife.  We had Christmas eve with them at there new home and some friends.  It was my high-light as I was not feeling well on Christmas so canceled plans to have Christmas with our son and daughter-in-law and her family.  When will it get better?  I guess this is looking more like a rant than anything else.  Well maybe I should leave it at that for now.  So much going on in my head now.  I will need to just sort through the emotions and what is important and what is not.  God bless.