Thanksgiving...

Here it is Wednesday November 23rd the day before Thanksgiving.  I am so thankful for the journey I am on.  It has been tough but also rejuvenating.  My husband and I sat and talked about joy last night.  We are both desperately in need of joy.  Not just being happy but true joy.  I can say that today I am feeling a small piece of joy in my life.  I am very excited about our time tomorrow just the two of us.  We had our Thanksgiving on Saturday with the kids and it was good, but now it is just the two of us and we are just going to be thankful for what we have.  We are even going to try a little black Friday shopping at midnight tomorrow.  I feel I have finally turned a corner in my recovery.  I still have so much going on in the family dynamics but I am learning to not think the way I have been thinking for 40+ years now and am letting things go.  I can say that I am just letting go and truly clinging to the reality that I am loved by my God and that is all that matters.  As long as I do what He wants and asks me to do, then it will be okay.  IT IS NOT ALL MY FAULT!  That is big for me and it feels so good to just let it go.  It is a big load off of my shoulders.  I have had so many people that have helped me on this journey thus far and I am very thankful for them.  Many of them may not even know that they are helping me.  I am thankful for a husband that is being so gracious with me as I walk through this journey and am hopefully becoming the wife that he wants and needs.  I am thankful for a pastor and his wife that are speaking truths into my life that are a huge step in this journey for me.  I don't know what I would be doing today if not for them and especially for his wife.  It is amazing how God is speaking into my life the same thing but through different people.  Our Sunday school class is doing the book "One Thousand Gifts" and the pastor is doing a study on the Holy Spirit.  So different but yet they are both teaching me the same thing.  I am also thankful for co-workers that are encouraging me with words and just being there.  The ability to talk about "things" with other people and to be able to blog is amazing to me.  I am so thankful for a cousin that is so supportive and willing to share her story with me and to help me with some of the hard questions that I had.  I am thankful for my home that is my sanctuary and safe place to come to.  I am still not able to fully live in the moment but am working on it and my home is the place that I can work on that right now.  So thankful for my son and his beautiful wife.  They both love the Lord and are very encouraging to me.  I could just keep going but should probably get ready to go to work.  One more I am thankful this is the last day I work this week and can enjoy the rest of the week and not have to worry about work.  God is so good and I am so thankful.