Thursday

     Wow November 2nd.  I have had a very emotional week at work.  Nothing that has been aimed at me just frustrating that I cannot seem to get things done before it is time to go.  I have discovered that I find my self-worth in doing.  If I cannot get charts fixed and filed.  Appointments called and do the end of the year stuff then I am not doing what is expected of me.  So needless to say I have not been able to achieve this, this week.  Although at home I was able to do laundry, dishes, vacuum and mop as well as go to the gym before going to work Tuesday.  I felt so good about that, then get to work and nothing seems to go right.   I also had my "live fully in the moment" quite unexpectedly Tuesday night when I got home. My husband was at a meeting Tuesday night so I was home alone for a couple of hours.  As I was watching my favorite TV program "biggest Loser" my cat jumps up into my lap and is really loving on me.  I look down at him and tell him I love him and break.  Only for a moment but it felt good.  As I was reading the blogs that I follow this morning, I was going back in my mind over the week and trying to see if I did the assignment for our Sunday School class.  The assignment was to fully live in the moment.  I was thinking I have not even tried then remembered the event Tuesday night.  I believe for me that was the moment.  Not easy to do but it felt good.  Now I long to do this again but with my Abba father holding me in his lap.  I can picture being curled up in His lap like a small child and crying or just being held.  I know the thing to do is to crawl up into Gods arms of love and let Him love on me.  This is a hard thing for me but I hope this is a big step forward for me.  
     Who would have thought that six weeks ago if you would have told me that I would be blogging and living fully in the moment that I would do it?  But here I am.  I challenge you all to live fully in the moment.  For some this is no problem and for others this is a struggle.  As I strive to do this more, I believe this will be a freeing time in my life and hope it is for you as well.  This has been a good start to my healing.  I came to the realization this week as well that I do believe that I need to go a step further for my recovery to fully happen.  I believe that I need to have some counseling, but not sure how to seek out a counselor and if I can afford it.  So if anyone has any ideas let me know.  God bless till next time.