time....

Today is June 9th 2012 and I am 1800 miles from home.  It has been a long time since I have posted anything.  For one I do not have internet at home on my computer and to hard to do on my phone and I am going through a lot right now in my life.  I am going through a counseling process that of recent has caused some dissension with my husband and some more turmoil inside of me.  As I struggle to find myself and what all is stuffed inside me, it seems to get harder at times and at other times I wonder why I am doing this.  It is amazing how the devil blinds us to our own faults.  I am trying to stir the pot of feelings inside of me to find out what is there and learn do deal with them rather than bury them.  I still feel as though I am stirring a pot of something and not sure what it is.  I have not been able to find the "stuff" that is sitting at the very bottom and get it out.  One I am afraid of what "it" is, but on the other hand I want to know and deal with it and get it out and heal!  So this is where I am and why I am not on here much.  Still need lots of prayer and encouragement to keep going.  I wanted so bad to throw the towel in last night but today is a new day and maybe I can keep going.  I am doing a lot of writing though and that has been helpful.  I would encourage counseling to anyone who maybe questioning if that is for them.  Let me tell you all could use some sort of counseling.  At least I am getting a better perspective of correct thinking.  Well need to get to the wedding of our beautiful niece.  God bless.