in remembrance....

35 years ago today was Easter Sunday morning and my second baby brother was born. Leland Jay Hemenway. Dark hair and very long eye lashes.  He was a very cute baby!  He started life out so full of life and happy go lucky.  Then something happened in the second grade.  Not sure what, he would not talk about it.  From there his life was on a slow but steady down ward spiral.  Troubles in our dis-functional family and hurts that happen in everyday life.  We had a small back yard farm and Leland loved the animals, but also with that a kid learns the hard lesson of death.  All of the struggles started to add up in his life, to the point that he eventually turned to drugs and alcohol.  He had a big heart and would do anything for you without expecting anything in return, but his pain that he buried deep inside was eating at him.  He had been homeless at a point when he was in Arizona.  He was sleeping in the park when he finally called home and made plans to come back home.  He had gone there to go to mechanics school after he worked hard to get his GED.  He made accomplishments that would surprise most people, but still was being eaten alive with the hurt that he had buried.  After coming home he worked hard, found a girl friend and they decided together to purchase a home.  He logged, cut cedar, worked with large equipment and did amazing things with his newly purchased home.  Then a few short years down the road, the girl friend was not working out but now they owned a home together.  So they would stay at the house when the other one was gone at work or whatever they did to take them away.  When she was home he would go to the neighbors and stay and work for him.  I am so thankful for this man that took Leland in and became that father figure that Leland so needed.  This was his solace in life.  I truly believe he loved the Lord but was not living the life.  He made mention of praying and talking with the Lord, but his life style was not perfect.  At this point he is a full blown addicted drug user.  It was at the neighbors that he passed away.  As he was doing some repairs around the house and using some equipment, the hydraulics broke and the bucket came crashing down and got him.  At this point he was pretty much living at the neighbors as things had got really bad between him and the now ex-girlfriend.  He had made mention that he would burn the house down before letting her have it.  So maybe God took him out of a bad situation before it got worse.  I do not know and I do not pretend to know what the purpose was.  I am not God!  I just know that I have a few regrets as I did not know my little brother very well. Once I left home I was absorbed into my own life and once he left he was absorbed into his own life.  He was a workaholic.  He loved the outdoors and would do anything that would get him outside.  He was an avid hunter and fisherman.  He loved to camp as well as work with large equipment.  I just wish I had time to share some of my journey of healing with him before this tragedy.  I wish I could have alleviated some of his heart ache, but that was not God's plan.  I will go on and continue on my journey and look forward to the day we will meet once again.  Happy birthday to my little brother, Leland.  You are so missed!