What an evening last night.  I come home to a grumpy husband who is doing laundry and proceeded to ask me what I did all morning because it looks like I did nothing.  I told him I did nothing and asked why is he doing laundry?  I clean house on Wednesday now and that is when I do laundry.  He proceeded to tell me he has no work clothes.  So I did slip into my old mode and began to throw a tantrum like a two year old and become silent.  I am however talking to God silently trying to figure what to do now that I am in the midst of the fire.  Alan later apologizes and says he had a very trying day and did not mean to come across angry but then says that if I where to try to ask him something nicely and he lashed back how long till I would put up my defenses.  Again it is me who did this and he is the perfect one.  I don't know how to deal with that as there is no telling him that.  I just apologized as well and go on and lean even harder on God.  It is a huge learning curve for me to not want to get the other person to see where they are wrong and show where I am right.  I cant do it and won't as I know it is not my place to do it.  So needless to say lots of prayer last night and still just walking through the day with I am a child of God's and it does not matter what others think of me as long as I am doing God's will.  This is very hard and I find myself rehashing the past whether it be last night or last year.  I have to make a daily and sometimes a moment by moment decision to let go and lean on God.  He is my loving heavenly father that I can trust.  I am so thankful for my saving God/Father that truly loves me and waits so patiently for me. God bless.