Blessed...

Had a rough week and more a rough night last night.  Our assignment this last week in Sunday School was to find someone to talk to, preferably someone in the class but like usual I dug my heels in and did not do it.  So last night after reading more of the book and then doing our nightly devotions with my husband I opened up a little bit with him.  After talking some about the family rift he pointed out that I was not as supportive to him as he needed when we went through the heart ache of loosing his parents.  True i did not sit in the hospital every day for hours while he spent time with his mom.  But I thought I supported him.  This was another blow again, but I am trying to not let this go to the same place it has the last 40 years, it's my fault again.  I was not all that my hubby needed and I need to face that and try harder with Gods help.  I am trying to run to God now instead of just get depressed.  I need to start writing down the blessings that I am beginning to see in my every day life.  I am so ready for the healing to start but that is going to start with being truly grateful for all in all.  I guess I am learning just wish I could skip to the happily ever after.  I truly believe that is achievable. Not to say you wont have bad days or moments, but you can have joy no matter what the circumstance, which is the happily ever after I want and long for.  I want to be happy and I want to be able to give myself permission to be happy.  What blessings are you seeing or maybe if you cant think of any off the top of your head then just sit and think about your day and what are you taking for granite?  I take a lot for granite and am trying to take the time to see the blessings.  Any thoughts?  Any Ideas how to get to joy?